bold moves.

so happy to be back!

HELLO LOVIES!  i could not locate my password OR email address associated with my tumblr.  i was locked out.

but i’m baaaaaack.  let’s catch up with my/your life shall we?!

white noise

we all have a lot going on in our personal lives.  we find ourselves consumed with our job, friends we like, friends we don’t like, text messages, twitter, facebook, and the list goes on.  i don’t know about y’all but i have reached my capacity in all these categories.  lately, i have found myself easily distracted and easily agitated by all this “white noise”.  

you know what this white noise does to you, right?  imagine you want to savor a moment with a loved one, or marvel at how bright the spring colors are and VRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUMMMM someone turns a vacuum cleaner on right next to your ear.  instead of crying, you feel like screaming.  except it’s not a vacuum; it’s a text message from a guy that you have told ten different ways you are not interested in dating; a fb message from a girl who you don’t even like, who is trying to hang out with you and you don’t want to be the mean girl and say “i’m just not that into you”.  this white noise distracts you from the things in life that really matter.  because we (actually i’ll take ownership here) because i have reached my capacity for these annoyances, i find my negative emotions swell to an uncomfortable level regarding the most trivial things.

i should be better, i tell myself.  these things shouldn’t bother me or annoy me as much as they do, i scold myself.  but i’m honest.  and they bother me.  i have reached my capacity for some things and can no longer be the best me because of it.

and because i am so gosh darn positive, the only thing i can think to do is sing a little louder to drown out the white noise.  well, that and telling the guy to stop texting me because it will never happen, and using my blocking features on facebook.

celebrating the death of a friendship

not enough time to hash out the details but here is enough to put the below text in context.  a used-to-be-friend recently went behind my other friend’s (alexandra) back and started hooking up with an ex of hers (sneaky, come over at night shit).  and this was after she called someone else a cunt for kissing alexandra’s ex boyfriend while drunk.  can we say BIGGEST HYPOCRITE OF ALL TIME?!  this all happened within the span of four days.  yowza.

my response:  “that dick better be worth it.  and produce friendships and legs.  because right now she has no friends and not a leg to stand on”.

BAM. 

remember blind date #1 from january?

gotta love gchat

me:  still can’t believe you didn’t ask me to be your valentine.
him: :(  I really wanted to!
me: well why didn’t you!?
him: i’m dumb
me: im never gonna let you live it down.  you are.
him: I did get you a gift though…
me: haha.  suuuuure.
him: seriously.  yesterday.  I did
me: now i feel bad. if its something to do with a unicorn, you might be off the hook.
him: not quite
me: okkkk. well thank you in advance.  don’t you love ghat? how else would i have called you out so nicely?
him: it’s pretty awesome…
me: well i better let you get back to work. ppl are probably starting to wonder why you are smiling so much.
him: funny you should say that
me: someone asked didn’t they?
him: my coworker just looked at me and said, “what the hell are you so smiley about?”
me: HAHAHAHAHA.  im so smart its actually scary.

the lesson of the frog and the pot

if you throw a frog into a pot of bowling water, it will jump out and save itself.  if you put a fog into a pot of water, and then boil the water, the frog does not perceive the danger and doesn’t know to jump out, and dies.   

as we engage with other people and put ourselves in unfamiliar situations throughout the course of our life, we make decisions as to whether or not those people or situations will harm us; we make these decisions based on instinct and past experience. for example, you meet a guy at a bar and he asks for your number.  you create a risk analysis based on your interaction with him; the way he carries himself; what he’s wearing, etc. and you decide whether or not to oblige.  when you meet a new friend, you instantly decide whether or not you have a connection with that person and if you think you can build a positive relationship on that initial interaction.  you learn to keep yourself safe and also happy.

fast forward to weeks, even years down the road when you are still maintaining those relationships that you have formed from those first interactions.  over time the temperature of the relationship has become strained (heated at times; think slow boiling water) and you find yourself re-assessing that relationship.  maybe you no longer have the same feelings for that guy who you gave your number to; perhaps you no longer trust the friend who once sat atop your favorites contact list.  but you stay and engage with that person regardless of the wrongs that they continue to do to you. 

be unlike the frog and recognize that the temperature of the relationships you have surrounded yourself with, have the potential to do you harm.  and before you get hurt, be bold, and jump; get out.

shedding dead weight at the gym

first apologies are in order.  i have not been updating my blog because i have been so incredibly busy with putting my life back to order.  can you forgive me?  great.  onward and upward.

last week i met the gym guy (Tyron), for drinks at a great bar downtown.  he looked great in a suit; stood to greet me; kiss on the cheek, you know the drill.  throughout the night we had great conversation.  he told me he wanted to see me again, and i said “sure”.  gentleman?  i think so.

fast forward to sunday night when i am watching the superbowl with friends.

him: hey ms. hair.  (the guy has commented that he loves my hair.  think long and curly.)

me:  hey mr. no hair.  (tyron has a shaved head.  katie-1, tyron-0.)

him:  you watching the game?  i’m at home with a sick dog.  want to come visit?

there is something wrong with that last part.  i have had a conversation with you for three hours over drinks, which does not make me the least bit comfortable going to your place.  i don’t know you.  talk about putting myself in a potentially compromising (do i dare say, dangerous?!) situation.  because after reading this, i plan on making overly-cautions decisions about men i don’t know very well.

me: i can’t.  i’m with friends and we have a table.

him:  i want to see you.

me:  then ask me out and make plans.  (BOLD.  so maybe the alcohol fueled the honesty.  but seriously.  you are a 33 year old, law school graduate, professional.  this should not be a novel concept.)

so the guy made dinner plans for last night, but then changed them to drinks because he had to attend a fundraising event.  15 minutes before we were supposed to meet, i had still not heard from him.  oh yea, you know where this is going: he texted me at the exact time we were supposed to meet and told me he was still at the event.

definitely strike #2.  strike #3 is i have genuine feelings for someone else.

i just shed over 200 pounds of dead weight at the gym without even breaking a sweat.  looks like this girl is keeping her new years resolution:  no bullshit.